Death. What a terrible, terrible word. There is no positive meaning behind that word. It is a word filled with pain, heartache, loss, change, brokenness, love, bitterness, uncertainty, and confusion. Being the daughter of a preacher, I have been around death my entire life. I have been to more family nights and funerals than probably most people double my age. Unfortunately, my experience around death is still not one that could ever prepare you for losing a loved one. Whether known or unexpected, one is never ready to deal with the death of someone they love greatly. Yesterday, one of the most important and influential people in my life went home to be with his Savior. My grandfather was ready to meet his Maker, but I was not ready to let him go. I am still not ready to let go. More than that, I don’t want to let go. I do not want to say good-bye to the man who took me “minding” (mining) in Tennessee. I do not want to let go of the man who has comforted every one of my broken hearts and the whole time was crying with me. I do not know who I am going to sit with every Sunday morning at church and borrow pens from. He won’t be there to see me graduate again. He will not be there when I fall in love and get married. My children will never get to meet this amazing man. I do not know how I am going to say good-bye to him. It seems such an impossible task to do. I am overcome with grief and sadness. It seems my heart is broken beyond repair. We will cry. We will miss. We will hurt. We will also get through this because it is what that Godly, influential, funny, amazing man would want us to do. Papa is so happy. He is with my Nana again. What an amazing thing to think about. I have peace and comfort in knowing that I will see him again. I am so thankful I had 26 years to get to know him. He always told me he was proud of me but I hope he knew how proud I was to be his granddaughter. There will not be a day that goes by that my heart will not miss him.
Papa,
Welcome Home! I know you are so happy and so excited to see Nana and all of the other loved ones who have gone home before you. I miss you so badly and do not know what I am going to do here without you. I know you would not come back even if you could but my heart still aches. It hurts so much and the pain will just not ease. I cannot wait to see you again so when it is my time to go please be waiting with open arms for me. I love you.
Love your proud granddaughter,
Kara
